Leah Johnston Art: Photography and Poetry

I’m a bit obsessed with the idea of truth and trying to ascertain what people’s individual truths are. It’s a recurring theme in my relationships. I suppose it’s a symptom of being an overly honest/naive person, and coming to find out that much of the world is run on lies and deceit. From intimate relationships to national politics, it’s endlessly surprising to me how often we lie to each other, to ourselves, despite the fact that these ugly truths always have a way of resurfacing. I tend to think it’s the need to investigate this notion of truth that drives one to be an artist. To my mind, the most interesting artists are those who are able to extract those ugly truths and put them in front of us. Looking at their work becomes a revelation of ourselves, like pulling a curtain off a mirror.

Influenced by Brooke and her goop, though I’ve had this idea in my head for quite some time. This is for my Dad, who makes a living in teeth and, like me, is a fan of the macabre.

It’s strange how life calls you in unexpected directions, in spite of all your plans. When I moved to New York at 17, I really felt I was following my destiny: to study musical theatre and pursue a career on Broadway. And while I still carry the hope that I will one day be able to sing again, my health issues have put that dream on hold for now. Now I feel I am suddenly being called out West, to cultivate my newfound passion for photography and film/tv. It seems so strange to pick up and move across the country, after having tried so desperately to plant roots in New York. But there’s something telling me that I need to do it, even if it means saying goodbye to so many things. I need to go where I am happy, and hope that all the other pieces fall into place.

This is Brooke. We met up in L.A. yesterday and drove to Malibu to take some photos. It was such a blast! She is such a wonderful person and so much fun to be around. It was really interesting getting a glimpse into her life and seeing some of the incredible settings she shoots in. I hope this will be the first of many shoots we will work on together now that I’ve made the decision to move here. This state just seems to have so much more to offer me at this point in my life. Not only does is have a booming entertainment and arts industry, but it also just makes me happy being here. Everything is so much more calm and relaxed, and I’m endlessly soothed and inspired by the warm weather and the incredible landscapes. It’s a great change of pace from NYC.

I wasn’t particularly happy with this shot, but Brooke encouraged me to post it. The shoot just didn’t go as smoothly as planned. My lens finally went kaput as I was setting up, so I ended up using Brooke’s Nikon which was rather confusing. Additionally, it was a bit of a backwards process for me not having a clear idea of the setting, costume and pose I would be working with beforehand. It came out much differently than I had imagined. The original idea for this was decay, though I feel this photo illicits a much more peaceful message. This photo reminds me a bird taking rest in the arms of a tree. What do you see?

Check out Brooke’s picture of me, which I much prefer. It even looked amazing SOOC.

Your love
Like suicide
Has its sinister magnetism
That draws me to the edge of the blade
As I’m cutting through the carrots
Or pulls me up dangerously close
To the side of the freeway
Where I can feel the breath of violence
Chase along my skin
As the Big Rigs rush recklessly past

Your hand
Between my thighs
Brings forth that kind of violence
Shaking me
Like a baby
And then filling me up
Like a breathing tube

It leaves me hungry
At night
Gazing into the open refrigerator
Or pacing
Through cold quarters
Like a corpse called up from the crypt

So when you tell me to
Give up
Or give in
Because it isn’t working
Because it never was
We both know
There can be no
Absolution

Like a toy boat
Cast into an angry ocean
We never
Had a choice.

I taught
my arms
to stop
reaching for you.
my eyes
to stop
searching for you.
my lips
to stop speaking
your name.

but, my heart-

oh
my heart.

You enter
Like a stranger
You take me
Like a thief
I cling in solemn silence
Like a fated autumn leaf

My body
Like a glacier
Your body
Like a storm
Our fingers reaching out for love
That hasn’t yet been born

The sins
Of this transfusion
Like a needle
Like a knife
Will pierce the perfect veil
Upon this newly christened life

And so we move with chaos
And so we flirt with chance
Adrift inside a snow-globe
Of a slow hypnotic trance

Your body
Like a glacier
My body
Like a thorn
Our fingers reaching out to love
That comes to us
Stillborn.

When the little things weigh you down.

**Since I had several people asked how I did this photo, I thought I’d post a brief description for anyone who’s interested. This is my email response to someone who wrote me and asked. Hopefully I’ll be offering more thorough tutorials at a later time, but this should be helpful to any intermediate Photoshop user with an understanding of masks**

I took a photo of myself with the hairdryer going. Unfortunately the wind it produced was rather minimal (only enough really to send one strand of hair flying backwards) so I took a ton of shots with both the hairdryer going and with me tossing my hair. Then I picked the photo I liked the best of myself and composited on some of the best pieces of my hair from other shots to make it look like it was really being blown around. The difficult part of this shot was the objects. I do my manipulations in small steps. I brainstorm what I need for the shot and take shots of each individual object, doing my best to match the original lighting. I always shoot in RAW so I have the ability to fix lighting problems afterward in PS. So I basically held each object up in the same lighting environment as the photo and took individual photos. Then I made a selection of each object in PS and dragged them over to the original photo. Making good selections and cut-outs are the most important thing in manipulations. I’ve recently discovered that I could be making better, easier selections using channels so I’m now taking a course on that. But for right now, I generally use the quick selection tool and make a general selection, refine the selection using feathering etc and then drag it over. It’s better to get too much of an object than too little. I perfect the cutouts using masks in photoshop and erasing additional backdrop with the brush tool. The next thing to do is add drop shadows. You can do this by double clicking the object layer and adding drop shadows there. The special trick is to then go to layer-layer style- create layer. This moves the drop shadow to it’s own seperate layer so you have full control over where it falls, how large it is and the opacity. Based on the existing lighting, I try to match up the drop shadows based on how close the objects are to the wall and where the light falls. Adjusting the opacity of the drop shadow layer, and adding a gaussian blur to it are great steps to ensure the drop shadow looks realistic.

Anyways, I’m not sure what your level is in PS and if this makes sense, but if you have a familiarity with layers and masks it should help. If not, I highly suggest reading a book on PS or taking online tutorials such as at lynda.com- you will learn everything you need to know!

Step 1: Reach til it hurts.
Step 2: Break.

Looks better here.

My camera fell three feet last night, from the tripod straight onto the front of the lens. I fear this may have been the fatal final straw for my 18-55mm. Sad day.

In lighter news, I have entered an awesome self-portrait contest! I figure it’s a long-shot, but I promised myself I would put myself out there more this year, so this is my first attempt. PLEASE OH PLEASE won’t you stop by my page and ‘rate my portfolio’ at the bottom (a good rating preferably) You can rate it once a day for the next 4 days. It would mean so much!

Thought I’d try something completely different and carefree now that I have my strobes. I’ve seen renditions of this pose so many times, i thought I’d try my own version. Initially, I tried to coordinate the timer and a simultaneous burst of confetti, but that proved too difficult to do all by myself! Oh well!

I got this ridiculous bodysuit from American Apparel, which may very well be the sluttiest mainstream store I’ve ever seen. Anyone looking for borderline inappropriate clothing should definitely look there!